Playing Time Expectations When You Aren’t the Best Player on Your Club Team

Managing player expectations on playing time can be hard. We are a big believer that playing time should be earned, based on merit.  Being part of a club sports team is a rewarding experience, offering opportunities to grow as an athlete, learn teamwork, and compete at a high level. However, when you’re not the star player or among the best on the team, navigating playing time expectations can be challenging. Here’s how to approach this situation with a positive mindset and practical strategies. We also provide tips for parents to help them navigate this sensitive topic. 

Understand the Coach’s Perspective

Coaches are responsible for managing the team’s success while developing individual players. At the club level, this often means balancing winning games with providing players with opportunities to improve. While the top players may get more time on the field or court, coaches typically value effort, attitude, and growth potential, even from those who play less.

TIPS: Dear parents, coaches are always playing to win and there is a lot of balancing on the sideline. There are times when players didn’t want to go it, where upset and couldn’t hold it together to go play creating an unsafe situation, or needed a quick break to regroup and get water. Coaches do not go into games looking to play to lose. 

Communicate Effectively

If you’re unsure why your playing time is limited, have a respectful conversation with your coach. Ask for feedback on your performance and what you can do to earn more time. Avoid complaining or comparing yourself to your teammates. Instead, focus on actionable steps:

• “What skills should I focus on improving?”
• “How can I contribute more to the team during practices and games?”
• “What specific goals can I work toward to earn more opportunities?”

TIPS: Dear parents, please encourage your player to come to the coach to find out what they can do to earn more playing time. As a player grows and develops, it is important to empower then to ask questions. 

Focus on Your Development

Playing time is not the only measure of success. Use practice sessions to hone your skills, build confidence, and demonstrate your commitment. Coaches notice players who show up consistently, work hard, and take feedback seriously.

Consider extra training outside of team practices, such as private lessons, conditioning, or playing in recreational leagues. This extra effort can make a big difference over time.

TIPS: Dear parents, are your players playing on their own? This is what we call “starting your own engine”. If your player is not doing this, it is a red flag as far as what level they want to play at. Expectations should match the reality of the work. If they are only showing up to practice with their club (which is good) they would be looking at less playing time. 

Be a Great Teammate

Even if you’re not on the field as much as you’d like, you can still be an essential part of the team. Support your teammates by cheering them on, helping during drills, and maintaining a positive attitude. Strong team morale often translates into better overall performance, and your role in fostering that is invaluable.

TIPS: Dear parents, This can’t be stressed enough, being a great teammate keeps your player on the team. It shows that you can handle a lot. 

Set Realistic Goals

It’s essential to recognize your role on the team and set goals that align with it. For example:

• Aim to improve specific skills by the end of the season.
• Strive to increase your playing time incrementally.
• Focus on being a reliable substitute who can step in and perform when needed.

These small victories will build your confidence and keep you motivated.

TIPS: Dear parents, help your athlete by having use SMART goals, pick a goal and make sure you sure it is SMART – Specific, Measurable, Action Oriented, Results and Timely. 

Be Patient and Persistent

Growth takes time, and every player develops at their own pace. The star player on your team today might have started in a similar position to yours a few years ago. Stay committed, keep working hard, and trust the process.

TIPS: Dear parents, getting more playing time is a process and it starts with your player. Working and be consistent in your play at practice and games will start to show, then your coach will play your player more. 

Appreciate the Bigger Picture

Remember why you joined the team in the first place. Whether it’s to improve your skills, enjoy the game, or make friends, those goals can be achieved regardless of your playing time. Club sports are about more than just minutes on the field—they’re about learning life skills like resilience, teamwork, and perseverance.

TIPS: Dear parents, coaches usually have a plan for your player and it is not one day but seasonal. 

Conclusion

Not being the best player on your club team doesn’t mean you can’t have a meaningful and fulfilling experience. By understanding the dynamics of playing time, focusing on personal growth, and being a supportive teammate, you can make the most of your role on the team. Success isn’t just about how much you play—it’s about how much you grow.

iSport360 is the only app that does it all for youth sports. For more information on what we do, click here. 

About the author: 

Amy Masters is a sports mom, coach, and club administrator. She has been coaching youth sports for more than 10 years. She started Jr Lions Field Hockey, the youth recreation program for the Hunterdon County community growing it from 40 players in year 1 to 150 players by year 3. A few years later, she saw the love and competitiveness grow then started Omega Field Hockey Club serving NJ and PA players. Before coaching, she was a collegiate field hockey player for Lock Haven University. In her spare time (lol), she is head of marketing for iSport360 and the co-editor of the Youth Sports Survival Guide. The Youth Sports Survival Guide is the largest youth sports newsletter in the world.