Picture this, you are at your kids basketball game. The noise level is high in the packed the gym. Your 9 year old is playing basketball and they you hear it, over and over again.
I actually lost track of the number of times I heard parents yelling “SHOOT” …hmmm. Is that a cheer? Or is that a word of encouragement? Actually, “SHOOT” is a command. It is generally yelled by a parent. Above the volume of anyone else in the bleachers, to get their child to shoot the ball. And usually yelled in basketball, lacrosse, hockey, field hockey, soccer and more. I’m very familiar with this command. I shouted it dozens of times to my daughter in her early years of travel soccer.
The Magical Lesson
But then I learned a magical lesson. To shoot, or not to shoot, is a decision that our children must learn to make on their own. When developing the player, parents need to let their players make their own decisions on the court, field or ice. This helps they develop autonomy. And yelling “SHOOT” will only distract them, freak them out, and hurt their ability to think and make decisions on their own. While we all love when our kids score, the long term impact could be the opposite of growth.
Reasons to Yell Shoot (not really)
To be fair, as a sports parent, there are many reasons why I have felt compelled to yell “SHOOT” in the past:
- Overwhelmed with nervous energy.
- Frustrated that my child doesn’t score goals and baskets.
- Insecurity that my child can’t make this decision without my help or the coaches help.
- Or, the word “SHOOT” just came flying out of my mouth without even thinking about it (a symptom of a sideline parent with elevated stress hormones).
Believe me, I’ve been there!
Better Way to Help Your Child
But the bottom line is, there’s a better way: Instead of going for the short term reward by yelling “SHOOT”, focus on long term development and work with your child to attack the goal, release the ball quickly, be more aggressive and have more field/court awareness. Worth mentioning that half the time you yell “SHOOT”, “PASS” or “GO TO THE GOAL” it’s probably not even the right coaching instruction. So next time you find one of these words flying out of your mouth at your child’s game, try to put that energy towards building their skills, instead of building their ability to respond to your commands. It worked for me.
Wishing you a great Sports Season.
Ian
Ian Goldberg is the Founder and CEO of iSport360, a virtual youth sports platform that has helped over 100,000 coaches, players and parents keep their teams connected, active and strong…through the pandemic and as we return to play. Try iSport360 for free here.
